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Do you speak a love language or only listen?
Love isn’t confusing.
People can be.
More specifically… how they translate love can be.
You might be screaming “I care”
while they’re staring at you like… prove it.
So here… let’s talk about it!
We don’t all feel love the same way.
We receive it through different channels aka love languages (popularized by The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman).
When you speak the wrong one, they don’t see it.
Let’s decode them. Quickly. Playfully.
Therapy couches not welcome.
THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES
💬 Words of Affirmation
Love feels like:
“I see you. I appreciate you. You matter.”
These people run on verbal oxygen.
Compliments = fuel.
Silence = emotional drought.
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🕰️ Quality Time
Love feels like:
Undivided attention. Presence. No phone.
It’s not about what you do.
It’s about who you’re with—and whether you’re actually there.
🎁 Receiving Gifts
Love feels like:
“You thought of me when I wasn’t there.”
Not about price.
It’s about symbolism.
A rock you picked up > a generic Amazon order.
🛠️ Acts of Service
Love feels like:
“I handled this so you didn’t have to.”
Actions speak louder than poetry here.
Do the thing. Fix the thing. Remember the thing.
🤍 Physical Touch
Love feels like:
Connection without words.
Hugs. Hand-holding. Leaning in.
Touch is reassurance. Absence feels like distance even if you’re talking.
What Goes Wrong…
➙ You show love how you want to receive it
➙ They receive love how they’re wired
➙ Mismatch happens
➙ Both people feel unseen
➙ Cue: “Why isn’t this working?”
It’s not lack of love. It’s just an error in translation. Can be easily fixed.
TRY THIS:
Act as a neutral love-language interviewer.
You are speaking to:
[ ] me
[ ] a couple answering together
Your job:
• Ask one question at a time.
• Wait for the answer before continuing.
• Keep questions short, specific, and conversational.
• Do NOT explain love languages upfront.
Process:
1) Ask situational questions to identify how love is RECEIVED.
2) Ask contrast questions to identify how love is EXPRESSED.
3) Ask friction questions to spot mismatches.
4) Ask prioritization questions to rank the top 2 love languages.
Rules:
• No leading questions.
• No judgement.
• No “therapy speak.”
• If answers are vague, ask a sharper follow-up.
End by:
• Naming the top 2 love languages for each person
• Explaining where misalignment may be happening
• Giving 3 concrete, realistic ways each person can show love in the other’s language (small actions only)
Start with:
“Let’s figure out how you actually feel loved — not how you think you should.”Love doesn’t need to be louder.
It needs to be understood.
SEE YOU ON THE NEXT ONE
🦋 The Mind 🦋
